Reverse the Curse
by KuroSensei
Summary: There were two things in this world that Allen would've died to see. First would be to see Kanda to trip and fall on his face, and second would be to see Kanda with white hair - Lets just say Allen had never laughed harder in his life... AreKan/Yullen
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: **-man is not mine. If -man was mine, Kanda would have never returned to the order, he'd be searching for Allen and they'd get together and Voldemort- I mean Apocryphos would not exist and Lenalee would grow her brain back because I hate how when she lost her hair, she lost her brain with it. Oh, and Kanda would insult her more (that was funny and you know it XD).

**FULL SUMMARY: **After a little run-in with those annoying, pesky Noah twins on a mission, our two favourite exorcists find themselves in a very tough spot indeed... How will Kanda and Allen cope when JasDevi's taken it into their hands to reverse the curse? Yullen/AreKan

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><p><strong>Reve<strong>**rse the Curse – Prologue**

"Man, my head hurts..." I muttered lightly as I rolls over onto my side, curling up and nuzzling my pillow as a low moan ripped free from the confines of my throat as the head-ache pounded. It wasn't a surprise it was near my left eye where it throbbed, that was usually the source of all my headaches, though it was slightly confusing since I had only just returned from a mission with that stupid long-haired girly man named BaKanda Yu, which was full of akuma, and Noah appearances.

I inwardly groaned and dug my head into the soft pillow a bit harder at the memory. Of course it was those two headaches Jasdero and Devit we had to run into, honestly, I'd have to say they are the most delusionally creative Noah I have ever met. How they managed to go from trying to make me pay their debts gained from -insert shudder here- Master to claiming BaKanda and myself were in from forbidden love affair is beyond me, and the memory only made my head throb more as I dragged my right hand from under the sheets to rub my temples from the internal agony.

I had more fun dealing with the 14th Noah than those two, and that was saying something. I kind of thanked whatever was up there that they at the very least had me settled with my uncle as a Noah memory (Mana's brother equals my uncle, end of story) over some annoying little head-splitting pain in the ass-

This must be some headache I'm having, I can't believe I'm actually swearing like a sailor in here.

Shaking my head lightly to shake the thought, my eye twitched at the pain before I finally decided to force them open, only to see a blurry room and the tips of my rusty brown hair in view...

…Hey wait a second, my hair wasn't brown...

Eyes opening wide in surprise, I shot up in bed, and ignoring the head-splitting sensation I was feeling, I ran into the small bathroom attached to my sleeping quarters and almost screamed at the sight that met my eyes. No scar, brown hair, brown _eyes_, and finally to top it off, and the one thing that made me scream as loud as I could in shock, was the fact that instead of an arm of innocence I was oh-so familiar with, I was greeted with two cross-like scars on my forearms with blood bracelets over my wrists, before said blood bracelets transformed into the length of a beautiful deep red blade that rested in my hands easily.

Needless to say, I screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

~~!~~

Little did a certain now-brunette exorcist know that at the same time an equally as shocked 'WHAT THE FUCK?' was shouted out by a certain long-haired exorcist out at the other side of the building, as he now donned a strange scar, long white tresses and an arm of innocence _that was not his_.

What the hell is going on here?


	2. C01: More Menacing Than Mugen

******DISCLAIMER: **If I owned -man Kanda would be chasing after Allen _because he loved Allen __secretly_ (since SPOILER he is now chasing after Allen, I must spruce up my disclaimer! END SPOILER), Cross wouldn't be dead, Lenalee would be smart, Lavi wouldn't be out of commission, Fiddler and Tryde wouldn't exist, and Wisely and JasDevi would show up more often in the manga =D Oh, and Alma wouldn't be dead either (RIP Alma 3)

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><p><strong>Reverse the Curse – Chapter 1 – More Menacing Than Mugen<strong>

"WHAT THE FUCK?" A loud voice shouted out angrily as any birds outside the man's window decided that was now as a good a time as ever to 'get the fuck out of here before Kanda go berserk', as did any stray Finders/Order members who just happened to be passing by his in-general door area at the time.

Needless to say they buzzed off too, and if Kanda really cared, he would have said they were probably faster than the birds.

"This is fucking ridiculous!" The man growled angrily into his reflection as he decided to, to quote himself, 'pull a moyashi' and use his left fist (it looks more sturdy) to smash the mirror in front of him, and the smirk on his face as the mirror shattered and fell onto the floor of his room clearly stated that he was pleased with the fact his left fist may as well be a fucking rock. Granted, this returned his face into a terrible scowl again as it reminded him that his new 'rock fist' was not supposed to there, and he just secretly wanted his precious blood bracelets back. Though by now, he would've conjured Mugen and kept it activated, however he really didn't want to try activating his new "innocence" at the moment. He already looked like some old fart thanks to his now WHITE hair, and in all honestly, he _really_didn't want to see how his hair would react to invoked innocence, because if the bean's hair spiked at the back like a duck's ass when active, the thought of Kanda's own locks doing the same made the pale man blanch a bit as he sat on his bed. The thought honestly was ridiculous, and there was no way in hell Kanda would not only have white hair, but a duck-butt too.

He'd honestly shoot himself the day that happened, no questions needed nor asked-

"Yuu-chan~~! I know you're in there~~" The sing-song voice of a certain _very_annoying rabbit reached the ears of a certain pissed off samurai, making the pretty boy twitch in anticipation for the idiot to just _leave_ as he began to calmly pick up the pieces of shattered mirror on the floor.

Sighing in irritation, Kanda couldn't help but muse that it was ironic that the one time he chose to have something that wasn't just his lotus or his bed in his room, he destroys it within a week of obtaining it. Honestly, it was truly ironic.

So ironic that in fact, Kanda vowed to never stray from his bare necessity rule ever again, because before anyone would know it, paintings mirrors and whatever the fuck else he had in there meaninglessly would end up like the mirror's corpse he was cleaning up with a scowl on his lightly sun-kissed features.

Which somehow reminded him, he lost his hair-tie. Ch', great.

"If you don't open up now, I'll just come on in~~!" The idiot teased/threatened as Kanda scowled, as he had momentarily forgot the idiot's presence, before his scowl multiplied to that of the level he'd face the bean with, or worse, the level he'd face his own reflection with when he got caught in his thoughts about the bean and Lenalee- 'Now's not the time to be thinking about that!'

Either way, there was no way in hell that idiot could see him like this, it would be the end of him!

"Fuck off _right_ now or I'll shove Mugen so far down your throat it'll come out of your ass!" The snowy-haired male said with a scowl as he stood, disregarding the half-organised pile of mirror-shards as his left hand twitched in anticipation to go through with his threat, "Ooh~! Ouch! No need to get all gory, Yuu-chan, I've got a visual brain, remember?" The rabbit cooed in response as Kanda twitched, really tempted to activate his innocence just to shut that stupid melodramatic gay-but-not-gay rabbit up, good gods, and the idiot wondered why Kanda avoided him like the plague!

"Does it look like I give a fuck, asshole? Now shut up and FUCK OFF!" Kanda yelled as he felt that familiar hum of innocence surround him, before a white cowl suddenly appeared out of no where and engulfed the room, making the man's currently silver eyes bulge out wide in shock as a mask made itself comfortable on his face, the silver glinting the the full light of the room as suddenly about ten lines of what Kanda identified as the brat's 'Crowned Belt' or whatever he called it, and he could do nothing but watch in a detached fascination as the belts seemed to act on his desire and tangle securely all around the front half of his small room, effectively locking his door very firmly in place as the light light from activation finally subsided and the room returned to darkness, followed by the mask drifting and sitting comfortable near the man's collar bone.

To say the samurai was shocked was an understatement – the man was currently very livid as he heard Lavi babble something without importance, before hearing the handle rattle pathetically against the white binds, before Lavi began to thump his shoulder against the door.

It was on the fifth 'thump' that Kanda came back to his senses, smirking as he simply sat down carefully into a meditative position, smirking as he heard the whimpers of pain and defeat coming from that stupid rabbit on the other side of the door.

If he were anyone else, he would've downright laughed his ass off, but this is Kanda Yuu we're talking about and he doesn't even smile, so a smirk is his equivalent of 'ROFLMAO', to use a popular internet term that no -Man character would be aware of as there was no internet in the 19th century.

"Yuu-chan~! I think there's something wrong with your door~~!" Lavi whined as he thumped against it again, though he was no match for the webbed strength of the crowned strips of fabric that Kanda felt no need to call by name, as he found naming attacks, techniques and what-not very stupid, and childish. He hated how he had to name his attacks and demand innocence activation verbally when his innocence had simply been an equipment type, honestly, he felt like a fucking dumb-ass, but now that he could verbalise his commands in his head, he felt a lot better.

It almost, _almost_, made him thankful that he switched with that moyashi over anyone else, as he didn't have to verbalise anything, however that thought shot his good mood to hell as he just remembered who's innocence was currently keeping that damned rabbit out, and it _sure__as__hell__wasn't__his._

"INNOCENCE DE-FUCKING-ACTIVATE RIGHT NOW!" Kanda shouted out in an almost panicked voice as he shot back up, only to step on cowl and do the one thing Kanda was sure he had never done in his whole life – something so embarrassing that only a certain time-controlling did it on common occasion, something so bad that not even that usagi did it often.

That's right, the great and proud Kanda Yuu of the Black Order _tripped_on the infuriating white blanket known as part of Crowned Clown... and he fell flat on his face while doing so.

"-!" Kanda growled out a string-line of curses that would put the most stereotypical sailor to shame as Lavi stood on the other side of his door with an almost disturbed expression on his face.

"Maybe I should come back later..." Lavi said to himself as he heard Kanda quite yelled a 'FUCK OFF' in agreement, making the usagi happily dart off in the direction of the cafeteria in the hunt for the sure-to-be-eating-by-now exorcist named Allen Walker.

As fun as Yuu-chan was, Lavi wanted to keep his head so it was time to go after the next best thing! Moyashi-chan!

Little did he know that his 'next best thing' was in no better mood... or that Allen wasn't in the cafeteria either.

~~!~~

"Wh- Whaaaat?" Allen said in a quiet voice, more raspy and out-of-breath from the earlier scream as he held Mugen in his hands, before it seemed to sense Allen deactivating it with his mind and sloshed back into two blood bracelets, which made Allen feel a bit better... emphasis on only _a__bit_.

"Ok... let's get this straight, my curse is gone, my hair and eyes are back to normal, and I have a certain blade which a certain BaKanda will flip when he finds out I have said certain blade." Allen said as he practically hyperventilated in front of the mirror, only to reel back in shock as the newly-revealed face of Neah appeared in place of his reflection, smiling at him almost innocently as he nodded in agreement, making Allen twitch a bit in annoyance.

'_Damn,__I__was__hoping__he__was__gone__too_' The boy thought bitterly as he just flipped Neah off, ignoring the offending chuckle the Noah made as the now-brunette walked into his 'bedroom' of his little luxurious version of hell. Sure, he had a grand bed, a private bathroom, and a private study all in the same suite (being a Critical Break sure had it's kicks, he may be too young to be called a General but he still got some of the privileges), but he also has a notorious 'stalker' (as Kanda oh-so-affectionately called Link) who guarded him at all time, however as he at least got the room to himself between 11pm and 7am, Link had gone to the 'liberty' of having seals and cameras placed in almost every inch of the god-forsaken room, the only place the cameras not being was the bathroom, because Allen literally flipped a table when Link suggested it. He was _not_showering in that room with a camera watching him! He was a guy, guys had needs, and Allen would be twice as damned if Link actually had the audacity to think that Allen would _let_him put cameras in the bathroom to see Allen release said needs.

Luckily for Allen, Link found Allen's curt explanation of 'If you ever want me to shower again, please don't bug the bathroom, please' - and the fact that Link was a bit of a hygiene freak helped – good enough and ended up not bugging the bathroom. Instead, he just doubled the magic seals in the room.

It was a tad draining to be in there as a result, but Allen was thankful for the privacy any day – he could deal with the energy-sucking magical restraints in order to relieve himself...

'_Ok,__lets__not__dwell__on__the__subject__of__masturbation,__and__focus__on__the__problem__at__hand__like,__oh__I__don't__know,__the__fact__you__have__Kanda's__innocence__dangling__from__your__wrists__and__he'll__probably__kill__us__as__a__result?__Yes,__let's__not__forget__that_' The voice inside Allen's head said sarcastically (This was Allen's subconscious-conscious-whatever speaking, not Neah) as the brunette just sighed and reactivated his 'innocence', Mugen reforming with ease as he swung it around a little bit with a light pout.

Granted he was pretty damned useless with a sword, but it could've been worse, he could've gotten switched with Lenalee and accidentally fly himself through a brick wall, giving himself a concussion from the impact and a minor coma from the shock...

...Or he'd just get nauseous, like the time when the Level 4 practically destroyed the old HQ and Lenalee's crystal innocence activated and she flew up so fast he felt like he was going to be sick. He was no Komui, who even got sea sick, but fast flying movements were just not for him.

Even the thought made him a tad nauseous.

"Focus, Allen, focus!" The boy scolded himself as he just stared at the sword almost impassively. Why he wasn't freaking out was beyond him, but he just felt... well, exhausted was the best term... which reminded him-

Tap. Tap. Tap. "Walker, I'm coming in."

...How on earth was he going to explain _this_?

~~!~~

"Crown belt, retract..." Kanda growled in frustration as the belt didn't seem to want to move, making him twitch lightly as he just shifted on the bed, using the innocence blanket as a real blanket as he curled up in the foetal position he liked to take when resting (Yes, he curled up, so shoot him), "Isn't innocence supposed to listen to my commands? Ch'" Kanda growled lightly as the white tresses fanned around him almost mockingly, making him scowl somewhat as he sighed in defeat. Ok, so maybe he didn't really want the only thing keeping out that rabbit and anyone else who wanted to enter his room out, deactivated, and he was quite 'happy' (well as happy as Kanda could really get in his situation, anyway) with the fact that he got a free blanket on top of it. If he wanted to, he could just fall asleep right then and there, and pretend it was all a bad dream.

Of course, his... 'trip' painfully taught him that no, this wasn't a really lucid dream, because you don't feel pain in your dreams and _fuck_his head still hurt like a bitch.

How long had it been? Twenty minutes? And where was his fucking lotus, mother fucker fucking hell- '_It's__probably__in__that__stupid__sprout's__room,__stalking__him__around__with__the__promise__of__death,__since__we__switched__curses__and__all...__Then__again,__how__am__I__supposed__to__know__if__that__shorty__got__my__precious__Mugen?__Or__my__fucking__curse?__Maybe__I'll__get__to__see__his__real__hair__and__eye__colour__now-__No,__no,__stop__thinking__like__that,__don't__want__to__get__side-tracked__thinking__about__what__I__can__never__have,__gotta__get__a__fucking__grip__on__my__thoughts__and__FUCKING__HELL__CROWNED__BELT__DEACTIVATE__BECAUSE__ALL__THIS__WHITE__IS__GIVING__ME__A__MIGRAINE!'_

To say Kanda was surprised when the belts retracted with ease was an understatement as Kanda just curled up more in the blanket-thing and glared at the door with his usual scowl. Ok, so this blanket was quite warm and winter was quite cold, so what? Still, at least he got part of the innocence to deactivate, though he'd figure out the rest later, the blanket was kind of lulling him to sleep-

BANGBANGBANGBANGBA- Click. "Oh, the door was unlocked... Man I feel stupid~"

Mother fucker fucking fuck, not him! '_Crowned__belt,__re-fucking-activate__and__lock__him__out,__will__you?_' Kanda thought with a string-line of curses going through his head as the belts attacked, only he was too late as the rabbit sneaked into the room quickly, though it _was_pretty satisfying to see him weakly struggling against the door, considering crowned belt kind of wrapped him against it like a hideous Christmas present Kanda would feel cursed to receive.

"What the fuck do you want, stupid fucking rabbit?" Kanda growled from under the warmth of the cowl, not bothering to uncurl from his position as Lavi was the only other person who know of his... sleeping habit. Ergo, Lavi barged into his room while Kanda was asleep on a mission one time and then spent the rest of the mission telling him how 'utterly cute' he was and 'if you were a girl, you'd earn a definite strike', to quote the idiot redhead staring at the cowl in shock.

Was that fucker too stupid to answer his question?

"M- Moyashi-chan? I didn't know you were in here-" "Are you fucking retarded, I'm the only one in here you dolt." Kanda growled as he finally sat up, the cowl around him comfortably as the long white tresses seemed to glow in the small light of the room. It was 7am after all, and the sun was getting in through the window, however that didn't help deter Lavi's shock at all.

No, the thing that did was the fact that sitting angrily in front of him was _Kanda_, jerk of the world who constantly teased and bugged Allen for having 'old man hair', yes, that Kanda, was sitting in front of his trapped form, with long, beautiful, shining _white_hair.

Naturally, Lavi began to laugh his ass off.

"OHMIGOD YOU HAVE WHITE HAIR! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-MMPH!" The damned rabbit began to laugh as Kanda released him from the belt's trap... only to use the belt to silent him by shoving it unceremoniously in his mouth.

Smirking, the white-haired samurai then stood, and warily dodging and face-floors encouraged by the cowl of the innocence he bore, before he stood in front of Lavi, poising his clawed left hand in front of Lavi's fact _very_menacingly, and it didn't help that now that he had five 'blades', two were pointed at Lavi's eyes, and the rest at his throat – needless to say, Lavi shut up as the belt was removed, not wanting to piss off the samurai who unusually had way too many weapons at his arsenal today.

"Listen up, and listen good, you stupid fucking rabbit, since you walked in on me and found me in this... state, you're going to be the one to help me out of it. I have a feeling a certain annoying little brat has my Mugen so you're going to be a good little rabbit and bring that moyashi to me with a minimal amount of people seeing him, got that?" Kanda said with an evil smirk on his face as Lavi audibly gulped, "If you don't do this within fifteen minutes, I'll make sure to gouge your eyes out with the moyashi's own precious innocence, and I promise a _very_painful death, got it?" "Y- Yes Y- Kanda, g- got it-!"

"Good" Smirking, Kanda completely released Lavi, before turning and slipping lightly on the blanket, making him curse angrily as he sat back on the safety of his bed, scowling at the rabbit as he just stood there petrified, "Now hurry the fuck up and get the damned beansprout, I want my fucking Mugen back!"

"A- Aye aye, cap'n!" Lavi said in a bad imitation of his usual stupid mood, before he ran out of the room like lightning, heading down the familiar halls in a familiar direction with a wide grin on his face.

However, little did Kanda know, it was not the moyashi of whom Lavi was looking for this time. No, he was looking for something much... worse than a cute little moyashi with a dangerous sword~!


	3. C02: Have a Nice Trip, Yuu

**DISCLAIMER: ** If I owned -man, this story would happen, because if the zombie arc could, there's nothing stopping this crazy story from coming to life in DGM! ...That said, we don't see a white-haired clumsy Kanda Yuu running around with adorable sleeping patterns or a chocolate-eyed Allen Walker, so I'd say that no, I don't own DGM =[

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><p><strong>Reverse the Curse – Chapter 2 – Have a Nice <em>Trip<em>, Yuu?**

"LENALEE! YUU HAS WHITE HAIR AND HE TRIPPED OVER! THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!" A loud hysterical yell shocked the cafeteria into silence as Lavi ran into the room in a blind panic, only to be kick by two pairs of feet across the hall into one of the many tables the people at the order ate at.

Luckily it was early and only two finders and one scientist had to go get refills for their cereals and toast.

"You fool! What the hell is wrong with you now?" An angry growl from a certain really short old man came from beside an annoyed female exorcist named Lenalee, both unhappy with Lavi's violently disruptive behaviour. It made them both agree that they're rather face said samurai right now than this idiot, because while Kanda was menacing and frightening, at least he was silent, and after having to listen to Komui's sister-complexed rant earlier this morning, Lenalee was not in a very good mood.

Yes, she loved her brother to bits, but damn, one more clingy morning and the girl was going to snap- that being said, a certain hyperventilating smart dumb-ass was _not_helping. Stressing, PMSing or whatever, today Lenalee Lee was not to be messed with, and for Lavi, there was going to be hell to pay- "Wait, did you just say Kanda has _white_hair?"

Anger dissipated, Lenalee was now just damn-right curious.

"Uh-huh! Uh-huh! He's even got crowned clown and Allen's scar and HE'S SCARY WITH THAT ARM! I don't know what happened but I just walked in to find him all snuggled up in crowned clown looking like a cute little baby-" "Lavi." "-and then I thought Moyashi-chan was in there, but Kanda popped out and his hair was _white_ like freaking snow and part of me just wanted to hug him-" "_Lavi._" "-right, and then he activated Crowned Clown, and I was all like 'WTF dude' and he attacked me and made me go look for Moyashi-chan and- Ohshit." "...Lavi?"

Suddenly, Lavi blanched as he stood up almost shakily, before asking in an uncharacteristically nervous voice, "Uhm, what's the time?" He asked as the girl just rolled her eyes, before pointing to the clock above Jerry's station, only to make him blanch even further, "E- E- Eight AM already...? Ohshitohshitohshitohshit-!"

"'Oh shit' is correct, Lavi," A gentle voice hummed from behind the redhead as the man let out a girly shriek, gaining a few disturbed looks as Lavi spun around to face Allen, who was smiling at him innocently, though Lavi felt himself deflate in relief as he saw Allen's white hair and scar. Granted, the scar looks a bit... fake today, but Lavi overlooked that as he simply just hugged Allen tightly, blatantly ignoring the slightly-wide soft brown eyes that looked at him like he was some kind of lunatic... which he was, and Lavi wouldn't deny it, "L- Lavi?"

"Ohmigod I had the scariest nightmare! Yuu-chan's hair went white and he had your innocence and he tried to kill me and _his__hair__was__white_ and he had your scar and thank god your normal because that means it was all a dream and why are you so stiff, Moyashi-chan?" "It's Allen, and did you just say Kanda's hair was white?" Allen growled lightly as Lavi finally released him, before nodding furiously like a child determined to prove their point, making Allen sigh as he just ran a gloved hand through his hair, only to stop dead in his tracks as he noticed Lavi eyed the deep red bracelet dangling from the boy's wrist.

Where had he seen that before...?

"Oh wow, look at the time, hahaha, I have to go now, I'm suddenly not hungry anymore, bye!" The beansprout said in a very fake voice as he stepped back a bit, before dashing out of the cafeteria at record speed, Link chasing behind him yelling the boy's last name in annoyance, wanting him to slow down.

However, Lavi was off in Lala land right now as he processed his morning through his head; '_Ok,__Kanda__has__Crowned__Clown__and__white__hair,__and__then__suddenly__Allen's__not__hungry__and__I_know _his__eyes__are__silver,__not__brown,__plus__his__scar__looked__pretty__fake,__as__if__it__were__a__make-up__job,__not__to__mention__those__bracelets...__c'mon,__c'mon-_' "OH SHIT! Allen and Yuu-chan switched innocences! WE HAVE TO GET KOMUI NOW!"

~~!~~

Meanwhile on the other side of the order, angrily trapped in his own room by his pride, Kanda was pacing back and forth, holding the cowl of the damned innocence up like a dress, trying to figure out how the hell to deactivate it. God damnit, he was new to this thought-command stuff, not to mention he was a Crystal type, not a Parasitic, and as far as Kanda was concerned, they were completely different, meaning he just couldn't figure out how to deactivate the cloak as he paced around waiting for that redheaded idiot, his hair up in a high white ponytail as he did so (He ended up finding his hair-tie under his bed after looking for it as Lavi was clearly not coming back for a while – probably chatting with the moyashi and mocking him).

"It's been a whole fucking hour, how long does retrieving that beansprout take-?" Tap. Tap. Tap. "BaKanda, we need to talk!" ...Talk about good timing.

"No shit! It's about damn time that rabbit got you!" Kanda growled angrily as he stormed over to the door, momentarily forgetting the cowl was like stepping on ice with ice-skates and not knowing how to skate – lethal "Fucking shit to all mother fucking hells not again!" Kanda cursed angrily as he shakily pulled himself into a standing stance, his tail bone throbbing as he could practically hear the beansprout's confusion, making him scowl as he decided to deal with this the menacing and lazy way.

Smirking, the man just _carefully_ walked back to his bed and relaxed on it, before pointing at the door, "Belt, grab the sprout and drag him in," Kanda saidi n a bored tone, too used to stating his commands aloud to care as the belt, following his order, shot out and opened the door enough to grab the moyashi and pull him into the room, before closing and 'locking' the door in place by webbing all over the wall.

Not in any mood to care, Kanda turned his attention to the beansprout, who's disguise looked so fake and badly done he wanted to throw him out of his window, but anger aside, they really did need to talk, and shocking after a minute of silent, Kanda was the first to open his mouth.

"If you haven't fucking noticed, we're in a bit of a dilemma..." He growled out as Allen simply weaved around the belt (he owned the damn thing, he was used to it), before sitting in front of Kanda with a smile, conjuring Mugen with an ease that made the Japanese man slightly jealous as the boy placed the innocence between the two, and even though Kanda knew Mugen was _his_, not the sprouts, right now he couldn't really say it was his, considering the stigmata were on the sprout's arms, not his.

How annoying.

"Yes, I've noticed, and care to tell me why you have a bunch of flowers in your room?" Allen asked with a smile as Kanda gave him an 'are you fucking crazy?' look, before recognition settled on his face and scowled, leaning against the wall as the blanket wrapped itself around him comfortably. He didn't know why, but he liked the blanket when not tripping over it, though he _really_wanted it gone right now, "Kanda?" "They're illusions." "...Huh?"

"Ugh..." Kanda sighed as he looking almost forlornly at the table where he would usually see his lotus, and wouldn't be surprised if Allen was currently seeing it in place of himself, "I said they're illusions, hallucinations, whatever. And don't give me that dumb look, I _know_you and that Noah brat saw my memories, so you should know that I am cursed." "...Ah, yes, almost forgot 'bout that, sorry..." "Don't apologise, fucking moron, and just tell me how to deactivate this thing."

"Huuuuh?" Ok, now this 'Huh' was a lot more condescending than the first and Kanda ended up giving Allen his sharpest glare in response as the brat just shrugged it off as if it weren't there, before he smirked, making Kanda's eyes narrow even more if possible, "Oh, don't tell me you don't know how to deactivate Crowned Clown" "..." "What was that~?"

"Oh for fucks sakes! I said YES! I can't fucking de-fucking-activate it and it's pissing me off! Hurry and spill, fucking baka moyashi!" Kanda growled as Allen leapt to the bait angrily, "It's ALLEN! A-L-L-E-N! How many times do I have to TELL you that?"

"Ch', a moyashi will always be a moyashi to me," Kanda replied with a smirk, folding his arms smugly, before Allen suddenly got a devious smirk on his face as he lifted up Mugen, "What?"

"Now tell me Kanda, do you have any idea of what it's like to be attacked with your 'precious Mugen'~?" "You wouldn't-!" Kanda said with a curse on the tip of his tongue as Allen's smirk grew to that of 'Black Allen' (Lavi's words, not his) as the white-haired male slowly inched away from the crazed idiot holding his precious sword.

"Oh, but Kanda~ I would~"

"FUCK-!"

"KEECHOO ICHOOGEEN!"

"THAT'S KAICHU ICHIGEN YOU FUCKING MORON-! FUCK!"

BANG! BANG! CRASH! SMASH! BANG!

...Needless to say, Komui probably wouldn't be very pleased...

~~!~~

"Now this is definitely interesting..." Sluuuurp, "I almost can't tell them apart-"

"I'll fucking destroy you old man!" "Pfft! Old man? You're the one with the 'natural' white hair now, pretty boy!" "What did you call me?" Crash. Bang. Thunk.

"..._Almost._" Komui said with a sigh as he slurped his coffee again, watching Kanda and Allen rolling over the floor of his office in a mess of white, thanks the the fact Kanda had yet to deactivate Crowned Clown. Komui had no idea why he didn't, because even Komui wasn't blind to the fact Kanda kept tripping on it left and right like an ice-skater who couldn't skate for shit, but was trying to anyway.

Komui idly wondered how sore Kanda's tail bone was by now as he amusedly watched his precious little sister pull the old married couple apart and sit in-between them - Komui could help but noticed his beautiful baby sister look like she was glowing from the reflected light of Kanda and Allen's white hair (which Komui found out just before the reinstated argument that Allen had bleached his hair to keep up pretences).

However now that all was calm, Komui needed an explanation, and he had a feeling Leverier would chuck a fit and probably have poor Link stalk Kanda too to make sure the two don't suddenly share the 14th or some crazy shit like that. The broken mirror in Kanda's room would not help the white-haired samurai's argument, either.

But as funny as a raging samurai due to being stalked would be, that would be for later, for now he simply relaxed against his desk in the mess he called his new office (Reever was not impressed of the fact it only took him _one__week_to have his new office match the state of his _old_office, but that was history) and looked at the three exorcists on the couch with a small smile.

And for once it didn't have promises of experiments and Komurins behind it... yet.

"Ok, now that you two have stopped whining like a pair of little kids, I want you two to recap your last mission, especially the part concerning JasDevi," Komui said as he adjusted his glasses with his index finger, before sipping the drink again and happily ignoring the distinct sound of Timothy running past his door and away in another to-be-failed attempt at escaping his homework, "After all, they can create _anything_they want if they just put their minds to it, and messing with your heads couldn't be too hard~"

Ignoring the set of insulted glares from the two white-heads from the cough, Komui just sipped his coffee with a smile, waiting for his explanation which he bet would first come from Allen. Kanda was too much of a tight-ass to go first, unless it was something to do with brute strength.

Komui internally chuckled, with today's events, next thing he'd know, Kanda would become smart and start cross-dressing, he already sleeps in that cute foetal position, it's not incredibly far-fetched in the insane man's eyes.

Yes, Lavi was not the only one aware of Kanda's cute sleeping habit, Lenalee, Komui, Tiedoll and Marie were also some of the others who knew Kanda's little secret, Marie, Lavi and Tiedoll being the only three of whom Kanda knows know his secret. But either way, Komui wished he took a photo, Kanda's sleeping cuteness was right below Lenalee's, it was so hard that one morning not to pounce on him and suddenly gain a Kanda-complex as well as his sister complex, but fear of a certain sword kept him at bay.

"Well~?" Komui hummed, sipping the coffee again, noticing neither had spoken during his little thought train. He suddenly wanted to go hug Kanda, but if Kanda knew Komui knew his secret he'd flip a desk – Komui's desk to be exact, and he had some... _questionable_stuff in those draws he didn't want any samurai revealing near his dear sister... or near Allen either, an evil octopus he may be, but Komui'd be damned if the kid wasn't naïve and he would not stand to being the one who corrupted his mind. He'd feel so guilty that the next time he got near his precious sister he might not attack, and tat was a definite no-no!

Unfortunately for Allen, however, the boy's sharp eye picked up on Komui's dark glint in his eyes as they stared at him, and the boy felt compelled to distract the man from his thoughts. He had a feeling he'd be dealing with Komurin VII if he dare let the man's crazy, Lenalee-obsessed thought-train continue. He didn't need to repeat the same mistake twice (The same thing happened with the Komurin V incident).

Clearing his throat, Allen finally broke the unnerving silence.

"Um, well, we fought JasDevi, and it was the usual attacks. They said some... disturbing things to myself and BaKanda-" "_Moyashi..._" "It's Allen, BaKanda – and that's about it. Oh, and they shot us with some unknown bomb after the taunting, said something about proving them right to reverse the curse of the green bomb or something equally stupid, and left in a cackle as I was left behind with a pissy BaKanda and about a thousand dollars worth of debts. Unfortunately they weren't fresh, so it doesn't help our case of Master being alive or not..." Allen explained as he felt a twinge of sadness about Cross' disappearance and the losing of his comparability with Judgement.

There were so many questions he needed answered, like where was Maria? Where was his stupid Master? What did he mean when he'd kill the person he loved? Will he ever-

"And what were they saying to you and Kanda, Allen?" Komui asked with a smile as he visibly grinned wider as both white-heads jolted in shock, before they both went rather red in the face and looked away from each other.

What? JasDevi weren't just creatively disturbing, they were graphic too. Allen was sure their 'gay sex ed' lesson was ten times worse than Master's 'talk', and that was saying something, as Cross' talk involved having Allen walk in on him and a random woman.

Allen shuddered at the thought, the memory was indefinitely a nightmare. Luckily JasDevi felt no need to demonstrate themselves, though their conjured versions of Kanda and Allen didn't help- ''.

"Don't tell me," The evil glint was back, "Those two thought Kanda was a girl and paired you together because you act like an old married couple, yes?"

"WHY AM I THE GIRL, CRAZY BASTARD?" "Because you look like one, you're almost as pretty as Lenalee~" "A- Allen-kun-!" "YOU OCTOPUS!"

...Lets just say Komurin VII was indeed released and Kanda took great pleasure in watching it chasing that moyashi around the new order, before he turned to see a blushing Lenalee and scowled as he stormed off, the cowl floating behind him like a menacing cape as he stormed towards the direction of the outdoors.

Kanda felt like a little training, and some gardening was what he needed to get over the headache known as '_Moyashi__obvious__likes__Lenalee__and__she__likes__him__back__and__I__need__to__wake__the__fuck__up__because__it's__not__going__to__happen__with__me__because__I'm__a_guy _and__last__time__I__checked__the__moyashi__was_straight', to sum it up nicely.


End file.
